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After husband's death, wife struggles to make ends meet

Editor's note: The Time is Now to Help was founded by a local businessman who knew extreme poverty as a child. With the help of donations from the community, The Time is Now is able to help local residents in need.

Dear W.C.,

I am an elderly widow who recently lost her husband. I had been caring for him myself for years through a long battle with cancer and dementia.

It started out with him doing the oddest things and progressed to the point where he did not even know me anymore.

My heart would break watching my husband, my best friend, fade away. My hero of a man went from a healthy 195 pounds down to 117 pounds. I would leave his room holding back my tears until I got far enough away, so my dear love could not hear me crying.

We did not have any long-term care insurance and Medicare did not cover many of his expenses.

Now that my husband has passed away, I am behind in many of my bills. I was having a hard time making ends meet before he passed away.

Now they have stopped his pension payments. I am receiving a reduced Social Security benefit now that my husband is gone.

I thought I did my best for my husband by caring for him at home. I managed through his continuous downward spiral through the horrible diseases of cancer and dementia. He was a strong, hard-working man I loved with all my heart.

I had to watch him be reduced to a frail shell of the person he once was. I lived through days of endless care, giving to a man who in the end did not even know who I was. My dear husband may not have known me anymore, but he would cry along with me. That is how we shared our last moments together.

Now the only thing left is our long-neglected small house and old car. I do not even have enough income to catch up on my bills, pay the property taxes and utilities and feed myself, much less pay these huge hospital bills. Please help. Overwhelmed widow

Dear readers, Poverty levels in the elderly are skyrocketing. Many just get by until an illness or injury strikes. The death of a spouse can be devastating, not only on an emotional level, but also on a financial level. If there was no long-term or supplemental insurance, most are left with a mountain of medical bills they can never pay.

When they are harassed to the point of paying these bills, they often go without food and utilities, lose their homes and lose their life savings if they have any, to pay these medical bills. These are good American citizens who have lived their lives caring for families, working hard, paying their bills, and all they want is to be able to survive, nothing extravagant. When an unexpected illness strikes, it erases all their dreams of a comfortable retirement. The years of hard work are not rewarded. They find Medicare does not cover many of the expenses.

Many spouses become caretakers. It is a hard round-the-clock job. When I spoke with the widow who wrote this letter, she filled me in on the daily care of her deceased husband. She had to put special locks on all the doors because he would awake in the middle of the night and leave the house. This was a constant worry for her, especially in the winter, until he became bedridden.

She had to constantly check the gas burners on the stove and check the thermostat because he would turn the heat on and off. When he became bedridden, she worked hard turning him regularly to prevent pressure sores. He forgot everyone he knew, so they stopped coming by to visit. Their only daughter lives out of state and is having her own financial problems.

This widow had many dreams for their retirement together. She said they did not have much, but they planned on spending time together gardening and fishing. They had projects they wanted to do around the house to fix it up together. She ended up spending the last years watching her husband painfully fade away.

She had reduced all her costs to a minimum. She walked everywhere she could to not use her old car and gas. She did not turn on the window air-conditioner, and this past winter, left her thermostat set at 57. She is growing her own vegetables in her yard from seeds her neighbor shared.

The Time Is Now to Help brought her utilities up to date and supplied her with some gift cards for daily necessities. We also repaired her car and gave her gas vouchers so she could drive to the places she needed to go. After setting up her new budget and networking with some of her neighbors and new friends, she was as she said in her own words, “happy again and no longer fearful and alone.”

She was extremely grateful to The Time Is Now to Help and its caring and sharing supporters. She says she has lived in stress and sadness for years. This is the first time she has felt happiness and relief in a long time. It is all due to you, our faithful supporters, through our caring and sharing for our fellow creations.

If you would like to volunteer at the W.C. Food Pantry/ Family Resource Center, please call Frank Guske Jr. at (312) 656-6178. Frank is coordinating all volunteer efforts. Please volunteer for a two-hour shift Wednesdays or Saturdays, between 2 p.m. and 6 p.m.

Health and happiness, God bless, W.C.

A very special thank you: Lake Geneva Middle School students, Peck and Weis, Paper Dolls, Michael and Sue Borden, Dick and Jean Honeyager, Martin O’Brien, Tony Hanley, Kim Olsen, Tom and Joyce Roche, Lee & Barb Zuzanek, Plymouth Tube Co., Donald and Gladys Keith, William and Jean Isaacson, Nancy Russell, Drescher Family Charitable Foundation, W.C. Family Resource Center/Food Pantry volunteers, Bill and Lois McEssy, all of you who support The Time Is Now to Help donation boxes, and the businesses that allow our donation boxes. Anyone who would like a Time Is Now donation box in your business, please call (262) 249-7000.